The retired drama queen…

It is really easy you know! Just do like what some people do
to me.

First ask me about when I will get pregnant for more than 5
times in a week. Then launch a lecture on why we should have a baby as early as
possible each and every time we meet.

On top of that you can also tell me how to plan for my life
in vivid details expressing the well known taboo saying that if a lady delays her pregnancy for a few months’ chances is she will never get a child at all.
Please tell that to me as though my highest education level is standard 3 mid
term exam and there is not a slightest chance that I may even be smarter than you; in which you just don’t know it because all these while I have been respecting your feelings!

For best result (the pontianak of me will not only haunt you but your next 7 generations as well); you can teach
me the optimum way of MAKING A BABY. Please do it casually as though you are
teaching me how to make cekodok pisang, make sure not a speck of shame sprinkle
out of you while blather on and on about the dos and donts of getting conceived.
And while you are at that, don’t forget to ignore the utter look of repugnance
(at this point I begin to reach out for my samurai sword already and beginning
to hate you very-very much already) that is displaying on my greenish blue
face.

If you believe in a lot of other extremely stupid taboos and
ridiculous tips of planning your baby’s sex according to the orbit of the moon,
don’t hesitate to teach me, I will automatically puke not only blood but use my
toes to tear out my ears as well.

 For implementing above methods, please utilize all the
channels of communications that are available in this century, not only when
meeting me face to face but when you call me on the telephone, by text msg, by
yahoo messenger and hey! Don’t forget I do check my mails regularly!!So write me at length all about there-is-nothing-in-this-planet-that-you-can-do-but-be-obsessive-about pregnancies!

The last time a friendly soul did this to me I did not wait
till I start to puke. Instead I just avoid that freaking person all together. So I
guess these simplified methods not only applies when you want me dead of compulsiveness
but simply if you just want to get rid of me or me getting rid of you.

Happy Trying!!

This entry was posted on Monday, October 30th, 2006 at 1:21 am and is filed under How to make me vomit blood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.