Archive for November, 2006

:: Shopping :: Sleeping with Enemy ::

Thursday, November 30th, 2006

Friends come into my life with
different purposes.  One as someone who
cries on my shoulder and leave snot all over the place, another uses me as a
benchmark, another takes my wardrobe as a Clothes Rental Outlet that operates for
free. But mostly all my many friends are kind, intellectual, generous with
hearts filled with love and compassion. One girl friend of mine is a bountiful
loving girl, helpful and kind but is she always out there to get me…

She picks me up from home and take
me places, she serves the net and sends me emails, she texts and calls me from
the telephone, without fail she notifies me of events and happenings around
town. The places and emails and sms and events are all about How to Generate
the Nation’s Economical Growth by Contributing Your Capital to the Existing Businesses
and Trade or the act commonly known as Shopping. 

Yesterday she updates me by text :

Sale! Branded Fragrances & Cosmetics up
to 70%. 8-9 Dec at 10am to 6pm. Location : Coronade Hotel, Jalan Sultan Ismail.

 
    Doesn’t she know that the act of
notifying me of such is equivalent to the act of slipping my purse into the
shredder machine? Doesn’t she know that I have the ability of memorizing such
data only after one read of the sms and automatically a biological appointment alarm
is set in my head and it will go off on 7th Dec to remind me that
there is a super sale on the next day? Doesn’t she know I am training my self
to be prudent with my money? 

Yuzmin, you devil! I don’t wanna go,
please don’t take me. We still have the Flowerdrumbags sale to spend at and
today the Malaysian Megasale has just started… Not to mentioned I need to get
new office attires! So please let us not go the perfume sale! Please! 

 

:: GoodStuff :: Resignation Letter

Tuesday, November 28th, 2006

This is really hilarious! When I was with my previous employer, I once captured many many pictures of one of the managers got so drunk till he passed out and puke all over himself. I could have submitted one of these if only I had this sample earlier..hahaha

Dear Mr. Baker,

As an employee of an institution of higher
  education, I have few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my
  direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
  squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and
  me during our commission of duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the
  few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator,
  to explain every nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into
  my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I
  was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were
  apparently hired to provide amusement to your employees, who watch you vainly
  attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" as it is explained to you
  for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as
  incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also
  never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to
  you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what
  an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You
  wander around the building all day, shiftlessly seeking fault in others. You
  have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your
  interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on
  overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.
  In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone
  else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert
  principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you
  getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
  resignation; however, I have a few parting thoughts:
 

  1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you
        to give me a bad recommendation as I have consistently performed my duties
        and even more. The most you can say to hurt me is, "I prefer not to
        comment." To keep you honest, I will have friends randomly call you over the
        next couple of years, because I know you would be unable to do it on your
        own.
       
  2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system and I know every
        password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I
        will publish your "Favorites," which I conveniently saved when you made me
        "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not
        viewed favorably by the university administrations.
       
  3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mother’s
        b-day," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures
        of yourself in the mirror. Then, like the techno-moron you are, you forgot
        to erase them. Suffice it to say, I have never seen such odd acts with a
        ketchup bottle. I assure you that those photos are being kept in safe places
        pending your authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (And, for
        once, would you please try to use spellcheck? I hate correcting your
        mistakes.)

I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by
  8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your twisted little
  repugnant obsessions will become public knowledge. Never f*ck with your
  systems administrator, Mr. Baker! They know what you do with all that free
  time!
Sincerely

David Blocker
Network
  Administrator

:: Shopping :: FJ Benjamin Sale! ::

Sunday, November 26th, 2006

    Sometimes I think the power of an alter ego alone is not enough to accommodate the laborious need of energy required for my hectic pastime. Azman had always notices how naturally and automatically his anemic wife with fitness level of a paralyzed sloth turned fit like Fergie after a fresh steroid dose. This transformation didn’t come often, only at the moment my feet touched the floor of places with goods for sale. And the change was so dramatically drastic I was so convinced that I was being followed by a phantom neither cruel nor helpful; that would possess my body and gave me the extraordinary strength to keep me going. On shopping sprees.

    Last week on the 22nd I went to FJ Benjamin sale at Menara PanGlobal. I didn’t know why neither Kak Iena, nor Sya or Yuzmin and the rest of my crazy shoppamaniac friends didn’t wanna go with me. Can you believe Cik Yuzmin kita refused to participate in the adrenaline pumping event of ladies combating each other for the piece of pretty item they don’t even need?  That girl ought to get her head check. Tsk tsk tsk!

Anyway along Lorong P Ramlee I couldn’t find a place to park so I drove to Wisma Atrium and guess what? I parked on the 10th floor! Yes honey, ten! As I turned and turned my steering wheel, I sob with utter realization that The Almighty has not created me with a distinctive disability without a reason…  I was so thankful I cannot drive a stick!

    When I got to the place, well, just like any other cheap sale, there were more people there than in the church on Sundays.. FJ Benjamin carried the brands like Guess, Raoul, and La Senza etc. Men and women alike was carrying bundles of goods in their arms, many had even started to make payment at the cashiers. Was I late? It was only 10.30 and hey I had the fliers memorized, I was sure the sale started at 10am!!

Delephant_12

   

    There was a section for selling Guess watches, I took a peek and decided to die another day, getting stampeded on was not in my plan well not before I at least purchased a handbag.

    I moved on to La Senza section and got myself a gorgeous super duper hot lingerie corsetty thingy in all black lace and sexy!! And they even had it in my size! And it was only rm50.

Happy happy!

    I was careful not to over spend again; so I decided it would be better if I made a move right now. I inched my way through shoppers that were swarming the items like bees over honey.

Almost all of them were holding nice Guess bags but at the display I saw nothing good, actually I had never been a fan of Guess bags anyway, they were all too Hey-look-at-me!!  But while trying to free myself from mob I saw a cute pouch that would be great for taking to the gym at Rm79. So much for not liking Guess bags, I succumbed into the state of bewilderment and bought the bag. Dammit.

    Then Rina called, telling that she and Shazmi was on the way. Phew! At least one of my friends was still standing strong dan belum insaf-insaf lagi dalam arena pershoppingan ini. I waited around for her but I could spot neither hers nor Shazmi’s batang hidungs even though they both have really nice hidungs. Haha! At the time was almost lunch hour so even more people was flooding in.

    I lingered around the clothing section while I waited for her that was how I saw a cardigan really cute and small with sequins and I ended up buying that too. Rina, it was so your fault!! Luckily it cost only RM69 and the initial price was RM269.

    At last I managed to get my butt outta that place without further purchasing anything. As soon as I stepped outside the hall, I felt so tired!! My feet hurt, I didn’t even noticed that I was wearing really high heels when I was inside gasping for breath among hundreds of other shoppers in such a small area. I bet the shop enticing phantom had left my body at that moment. Leaving me with more stuff I didn’t need and less money in my purse. Isk isk!!

:: Life :: Diyana Yang Macam-Macam

Wednesday, November 15th, 2006

On Tuesday
7 November Azman sent me flowers at the office! They were very pretty. I took
my camera and snapped pictures of each and every bloom from each and every
angle. I was very happy! Thank you sayang! Hugs and kisses!

Flower2

Last
Teusday 14 November, I read Harian Metro online about a mother who brutally
murdered
her own 3 year old son by kicking his stomach in Ampang. I was in the
office and I cried. I thought of my nephew Arash he is 3 too. Then I cried.
Later in the evening I was driving back home and the newspaper report flashed
into my mind and again I cried. Wa wa wa!!

If the
driver in next car looked at me I was sure they think I got dumped big time. I am praying for the worst for the heartless woman. I hope she will rot in eternal hell. With cellulite.

 

 

 

:: Happiness :: Emaciation of Didi

Monday, November 6th, 2006

Happiness is when people start to describe your build as ‘just nice’ instead  of ‘anorexically scrawny’.