:: GoodStuff :: Resignation Letter
This is really hilarious! When I was with my previous employer, I once captured many many pictures of one of the managers got so drunk till he passed out and puke all over himself. I could have submitted one of these if only I had this sample earlier..hahaha
As an employee of an institution of higher I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by David Blocker
education, I have few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my
direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and
me during our commission of duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the
few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator,
to explain every nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into
my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I
was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were
apparently hired to provide amusement to your employees, who watch you vainly
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" as it is explained to you
for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as
incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also
never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to
you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what
an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.
You
wander around the building all day, shiftlessly seeking fault in others. You
have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your
interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on
overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.
In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone
else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert
principle.
Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you
getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
resignation; however, I have a few parting thoughts:
to give me a bad recommendation as I have consistently performed my duties
and even more. The most you can say to hurt me is, "I prefer not to
comment." To keep you honest, I will have friends randomly call you over the
next couple of years, because I know you would be unable to do it on your
own.
password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I
will publish your "Favorites," which I conveniently saved when you made me
"back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not
viewed favorably by the university administrations.
b-day," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures
of yourself in the mirror. Then, like the techno-moron you are, you forgot
to erase them. Suffice it to say, I have never seen such odd acts with a
ketchup bottle. I assure you that those photos are being kept in safe places
pending your authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (And, for
once, would you please try to use spellcheck? I hate correcting your
mistakes.)
8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody and all of your twisted little
repugnant obsessions will become public knowledge. Never f*ck with your
systems administrator, Mr. Baker! They know what you do with all that free
time!
Sincerely
Network
Administrator
